6 ways you and your partner can last longer in bed

Distractions are common and can mean you’re not really in the moment when it comes to pleasuring your partner.

If you’re worried that you’re not lasting long enough, it’s important to know that the average time for vaginal sex is anywhere from three to seven minutes.

For blokes it’s a bit shorter – with the average time for ejaculation at around five and a half minutes.

But everyone is different and an early finish could be down to a number of things, including stress, money worries and in some cases premature ejaculation.

If you’re up for a wild Friday night then you might want some tips on how you can last longer.

Navin Khosla, superintendent pharmacist, at From Mars explained that premature ejaculation is much more common than you think.

He said: “Many men don’t want to talk about the issue, but in reality around 40 per cent of men experience it in their life.

“There are two types of premature ejaculator, primary, where you’ve always had the problem or secondary, where it is a recently developed problem. Both are often caused by psychological factors but secondary can be both psychological and physical, with alcohol being one main reason.

“Talking can be a huge solution in this. The root of the problem may not be what you think. A sex therapist can be an extremely valuable resource, especially if you think it could be linked to anxiety.”

He added that talking it through with a professional or a partner could help – but if you’re not keen on that – here are six things you can do to help you last longer in bed.

1. Try out new positions
Health experts at From Mars say we all have positions that we favour, but if you suffer from premature ejaculation they you should chose positions where men can’t penetrate as deeply.

They explained: “Positions that are also tricky or tiring can help, as he will have to devote some attention to that.

“Try positions which give the female (or submissive) more power as this can often lessen the power and stop the male from thrusting too deep or quick.”

They highlight that some great options for this include:

  • Spooning – The closer you get the better
  • Modified Doggy – Slows the stimulation and still hits female g-spot
  • ‘The Lotus’ – Allows shallow penetration and an intimate experience
  • Cowgirl –  limits motion and gives the female control

The experts add: “Take some time to change position every so often during sex. When you do so, it can take some time to get back into it and it gives you a bit of a break, slowing down movements.”

2. Pause and squeeze technique

While the pause and squeeze technique isn’t a position it can be done when both having sex and masturbating.

The experts say it helps stop the flow in the penis and lets it rest.

They explained: “It can be difficult and take a lot of self-control but by practising it can help.

“It involves 2 simple steps – have sex until you feel like you will ejaculate, then pull out and squeeze the tip of your penis for several seconds until it passes. Repeat and practice as needed.”

3. Work out
You don’t always have to be pumping iron in the gym or hitting it hard on the Peloton to make a difference.

The experts say: “A man’s pelvic floor muscles sit just below the prostate and your rectum and just like any other muscle, they can be strengthened.

“If your pelvic floor muscles are weaker, it may be harder to delay ejaculation.

“Be sure to keep your muscles toned and fit by tightening and relaxing. Kegel exercises also help (both men and women) strengthen your pelvic floor.”

4. Condoms
While condoms can help protect us from nasty infections, they can also help you last just a little bit longer.

The experts say: “The condom can form a  barrier around the penis and dull sensation slightly.

“Premature ejaculation is often a result of hypersensitivity, so this could be an easy solution. Thicker condoms will also decrease the sensations.”

“There are two types of premature ejaculator, primary, where you’ve always had the problem or secondary, where it is a recently developed problem. Both are often caused by psychological factors but secondary can be both psychological and physical, with alcohol being one main reason.

“Talking can be a huge solution in this. The root of the problem may not be what you think. A sex therapist can be an extremely valuable resource, especially if you think it could be linked to anxiety.”

He added that talking it through with a professional or a partner could help – but if you’re not keen on that – here are six things you can do to help you last longer in bed.

5. Viagra and other supplements
Usually viagra is used by people who have trouble getting it up, but the generic drug sildenafil – is a prescription medication developed and tested to treat erectile dysfunction.

Studies have shown it is more effective than the ‘pause and squeeze’ technique.

The experts add: “Do your research and talk to a professional before you do this though, and be aware of any possible side effects.

“There are also various delay sprays, creams, lubricants, gels and wipes as well as other supplements which can help. Do your research to find out which could be best for you.”

6. Distractions
Usually distractions are these last thing you want during sex, however, it can be a great technique to help you last longer, the experts say.

“Simply taking a deep breath every now and again can shut down the ejaculatory reflex (an automatic reflex of the body, during which you ejaculate), as well as taking regular breaks to think about something other than sex”, they add.

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